blame it on the weather,
but as i sat on the kitchen floor thats where everything went wrong
yest madelaine and i were asked to help out again to cut the party hats out.
and she told me about how she feels of her current situation right now
and the whole time i was thinking
how if i were in her position i would have known what to do and i wished her problems were mine and mine were hers.
because the last time i had that same thought she had i dealt with it the wrong way
so to make up for that, i would have known what to do now if that same problem were to occur now instead of it being a used to position.
and then i realised how i still would have dealt it the same way now
because it was just the way it is
im always dealing it the wrong way
and just for today im going to let my guards and everything else down and claim how nasty life is for today. and just for today im going to stop having positive thoughts
because i dont usually do this whole im having a bad day thing
its only for today asmida
you're gonna be like yesterday tomorrow
i once said out of 30 days a month i give myself just 1 day to bawl my eyes out over everything wishing things were never this way and just reserve that very day to remember and forget, remember and relive.
and for this month the very day happens to be today
i have a few more hours and then im going to be back to normal
so lets make the best out of this , no matter how ironic it is making the best out of your worst day
im not going to say too much because i dont want to be seen as too weak
days like this you just stop feeling .. alive.
and then you wonder how they can do that and you just cant
how lucky some are and the only thing you gotta say is
been there done that
and not been there and still is doing so
